Dickens no longer relevant to thieving street orphansPosted 12 hours 12 minutes agoTHE works of Charles Dickens have nothing to offer London's 21st Century thieving underclass, say experts.
Google kicks Queen in the facePosted 13 hours 26 minutes agoGOOGLE has kicked the Queen squarely in the teeth, it has been confirmed.
Chelsea-Man U 'a great advert for atheism'Posted 13 hours 39 minutes agoSUPPORTERS of every other team in the country say the 3-3 match at Stamford Bridge yesterday was definitive proof of a godless universe.
Snow continues to be the samePosted 13 hours 57 minutes agoTHIS year's snow is the same as last year's, it has been confirmed.
Reader offerPosted 2 days 13 hours 42 minutes agoPro-Ponce Manager 2012.
Panic as Britain HuhnelessPosted 3 days 11 hours 24 minutes agoBRITAIN is in the hands of a Huhneless government.
Scottish expedition discovers then deep-fries massive prawnPosted 3 days 12 hours 46 minutes agoMARINE biologists from Scotland have discovered, deep-fried and eaten the world's biggest prawn.
Capello advised not to select anybodyPosted 3 days 13 hours 26 minutes agoFABIO Capello has been asked to submit an empty team sheet for Euro 2012 to avoid selecting gits.
William to appease Argentina with Nazi uniformPosted 3 days 13 hours 48 minutes agoPRINCE William is to ease the growing tension with Argentina by borrowing his brother's SS uniform.
Dr Julian Cook's science laboratoryPosted 4 days 11 hours 47 minutes ago With Mel's advancing years and poor diet, he's probably more familiar with asteroids' grizzlier cousin, hemorrhoids.
Men thank their mothers for not being Denise WelchPosted 4 days 12 hours 42 minutes agoMEN across Britain have forgiven their mothers for everything they have said or done after encountering Denise Welch.
Transfer window round-up, with Brian SewellPosted 4 days 13 hours 11 minutes agoJANUARY is traditionally the month in which my friends and I assess our collections to see which pieces are surplus to requirement and arrange an auction at the Garrick.
IT professionals deny they would ever help anyonePosted 4 days 13 hours 33 minutes agoCLAIMS surrounding James Murdoch's missing emails have prompted IT staff to deny they would ever assist a colleague with anything, ever.
Facebook IPO fails because nobody can find 'Buy' buttonPosted 4 days 13 hours 53 minutes agoTHE first public listing of Facebook has failed after users could not find the bit of the website that allows them to buy shares.
Stock exchange bomb plot suggests Al Qaeda now on our sidePosted 5 days 11 hours 12 minutes agoA PLOT to blow up the London Stock Exchange suggests that Islamic terrorists now want to do us a favour, it has emerged.
Your problems solved, with Holly HarperPosted 5 days 11 hours 37 minutes ago"First, and most important, you need at least one three-litre bottle of cheap cider."
