“Join us again this year for a bigger and better summer fete – with the hay bale cider bar, steel band, morris men and graffiti making a return, this year also sees animals, firmer jam, better cakes, circus folk and much more. There is no better village fete”
What's on ' Walking with Dinosaurs That Are Mashed on DrugsPosted 2 days 16 hours 35 minutes agoHuge lizards off their tits.
Receptionist shocked to discover sidebar famePosted 2 days 21 hours agoA 22-YEAR-OLD Londoner has been amazed to find more than a hundred stories about her weight, dress sense and love life on the Daily Mail's website.
Owen vows to continue top-flight sittingPosted 2 days 21 hours 33 minutes agoMICHAEL Owen believes his career in being seated can continue at the highest level after leaving Manchester United.
Euros disintegrating in sunlightPosted 2 days 22 hours 8 minutes agoEURO banknotes are dissolving into thin air at the touch of the sun as if they were never real.
Yoda: Corporate bitch I now amPosted 2 days 22 hours 15 minutes agoONCE-GREAT Jedi Master Yoda will flog anything for cash, it has emerged.
The perfect mentally-unhinged macaron recipePosted 3 days 18 hours 46 minutes agoHOW to make macarons while struggling with your legion of inner demons.
Online comment-writers to get own internetPosted 3 days 21 hours 33 minutes agoA NEW internet is to be created for people who like writing comments, so everyone else can enjoy surfing the web without their torrents of bile.
England fans gripped by opposite of feverPosted 3 days 22 hours 20 minutes agoTHE announcement of England's squad has triggered no excitement ahead of the Euro 2012 tournament.
UK 'will return to Stone Age by 2014'sup2;Posted 3 days 22 hours 21 minutes agoBRITAIN will be a prehistoric barter economy within two years, the Bank of England has predicted.
Joey Barton 'based personality on Swayze in Road House'Posted 4 days 21 hours 40 minutes agoFOOTBALLER Joey Barton has confessed to stealing his philosophising tough guy persona from the lead character in the 1989 movie Road House.
Your problems solved, with Holly HarperPosted 4 days 22 hours 31 minutes agoMrs Dodkins wasn't delighted when someone wrote 'Shirley Dodkins is a boss-eyed spunk badger' on the whiteboard in huge red letters.
France surrenders to ThorPosted 4 days 22 hours 40 minutes agoPRESIDENT Francois Hollande has confirmed France's unconditional surrender to the Norse god of thunder.
Dalai Lama goes off on one about sales callsPosted 4 days 22 hours 57 minutes agoTIBET'S spiritual leader has delivered an extraordinary rant about the things that do his head in.
Murdoch to buy UK prison system just in casePosted 5 days 19 hours 20 minutes agoJails to gain stables, large tasteful private living areas.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic BobPosted 5 days 19 hours 41 minutes agoVirgo (23 AUG-22 SEP) Paying to join that uniform dating site proves a total waste of money as there's nobody else on it dressed as a snowtrooper from Empire Strikes Back.
Ukulele market crashesPosted 5 days 20 hours 59 minutes agoTHE second-hand value of a beginner-level ukulele has plummeted to £1.12 after thousands simultaneously lost interest in the stringed instrument.
Fathers pretend to want internet porn banPosted 5 days 22 hours 20 minutes agoA PROPOSED new service to block internet porn has met with fake enthusiasm from fathers.
Greeks apologise with huge horsePosted 5 days 23 hours agoTHE nation of Greece said sorry to the European Union with a present of an enormous wooden horse.
Battery-powered book a surprise hitPosted 6 days 20 hours 13 minutes agoA TYPE of book with a battery has proved popular despite being pointless.
No word for autism in DanishPosted 6 days 21 hours 30 minutes agoBBC4 viewers have called on Scandinavia to incorporate its dysfunctional policewomen into the autistic spectrum.
